Worst Case Scenario

Hi __________s!

First of all, let's have a contest. Whoever comes up with the best nickname for my followers will win a prize. I'm torn between a one year member to the Narcolepsy Network ($30 in value) and a framed picture of me sleeping at a coffee shop (priceless). You know what, YOUR CHOICE! So post a comment with whatever you think I should call y'all and we'll see who wins what.

Anyway, today I spent 4.5 hours at a place that I am convinced was built by someone who hates narcoleptics. It is a perfect storm of sleep induction. That place is...

...Toyota of Watertown (Service Department)

Now, I have been here 5 times now and I believe I have napped there 3 of those 5 times. There are four main reasons that resistance is futile here.

#1. TV - Television is actually a stimulant and can make it hard for anyone to fall asleep. If "Wipeout" or "How to Catch a Predator" is on, I am glued to the screen! However, at T.O.W., the TV is always playing "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" and/or "Oprah." Now, those of you who have any critical thinking skills whatsoever are probably saying, Well Rachel, why don't you go at some other time of the day? You are a jerk for assuming I'm that stupid. I swear to you, I've gone early morning, midmorning, early afternoon, and late afternoon. It is ALWAYS one of these shows and I am always lulled into an Meredith Viera induced coma.

#2. Free coffee - Is it opposite day or something? Why would coffee make you tired? Well, http://www.beinghealthy.tv/archives/coffeearoma/ reflects results of a study showing that the aroma of coffee reduces stress. Relaxation = sleepiness (which is why I often fall asleep in Starbucks, which is a not-so-glowing endorsement of their product).

#3. The chairs - No joke, these are the greatest, most cozy chairs in the world. Even the one's next to tables, meant to keep you sitting up feel like a vertical bed. Once my ass hits one of those seats, lights out.

#4. The wait - If I am stationary for 4.5 hours ANYWHERE I am going to pass out. Fact.

I almost forgot; there's a #5 - The massive head injury sustained after slamming my head against a nearby Prius upon seeing this:
(Sorry it keeps flipping it sideways, but it's a bill for $699.97)

So what did we learn today: If you are trying to stay awake, stay away from boring TV, places the smell nice, and comfy seats. Try to move around, and it is better of you to slap Jim the service guy than it is to attack the Prius, which did nothing by love Mother Earth too much.

Anyway, this provided a nice study break from another thing that makes me sleepy, nomenclature in the early Victorian education plot. And yet, to that I must return.

Don't forget our contest!